When I first saw Lysa TerKeurst’s latest book, “Uninvited Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely” I immediately knew I wanted to read it. Who among us hasn’t felt that way before? And more than that, it seemed to be meeting me exactly where I was/am in life.

I’ll admit, even though I knew it wasn’t going to be that kind of book, I had brief visions of writing a snarky blog post armed with TerKeurst’s words to defend why others are wrong in making me feel unwanted and unloved.

I’m glad that instead, I’m here writing a blog post about how “Uninvited” helped me start to understand how to help myself. I can’t control how other people treat me, view me, or what they think about me. What I can control is how I respond to realities and perceptions, and how I let them influence me.

“Uninvited” is all about rooting yourself in God’s love, understanding that it’s nothing we’ve earned, but something He freely gives and it should be the basis of how we view and understand ourselves. This reading was timed perfectly with a sermon at church that touched on fighting the lies of the world, lies about myself, by being regularly exposed to the truth.

TerKeurst talks about forgiveness as a response to rejection and feeling unloved: “Grace given when it feels least deserved is the only antidote for bitter rot.” She also talks about using your experiences to see and understand what others might be feeling.

She has so many great bits of perspective and she uses them to bolster her message that there are two ways to handle rejection, of any kind. Either by allowing it to define us, or by allowing it to grow us.

“Uninvited” was a great challenge for me, a moment to consider how I’m reacting to life, and whether I’m helping myself along, or just hurting myself more. And, honestly, I’ve been part of my own problem (and, I knew that before I read the book). The challenge, of course, is the quote above, choosing to extend grace and love when it feels least deserved–to others and to myself.

I read this book very quickly, but it warrants a second, slower read, for sure, to be able to really think on the wisdom and pinpoint specific ways to deal with the lonely and left out feelings that come along so regularly.


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